InterpersonalABUSE TACTIC

Future Faking

What it is

Making elaborate promises about the future with no intention or ability to follow through.

How it works

The manipulator paints a vivid, appealing picture of a shared future — vacations, commitments, life changes — to secure the target's investment in the present. The target stays and tolerates poor treatment because they are holding out for the promised future that never materializes.

Real-world examples

  • •A romantic partner who talks about marriage and children to keep someone in a relationship with no actual plans.
  • •A startup founder who promises employees equity and promotion timelines that never come to pass.
  • •A friend who perpetually promises to change problematic behavior "starting next month."

Ethical guidelines

  • ●This technique is inherently unethical and psychologically harmful. Never use it in any context. If you recognize yourself doing this, seek professional help.
  • ●Do not make promises you do not intend to keep, even to manage someone's emotions in the moment.
  • ●Commitments should come with timelines and concrete steps, not vague aspirations.
  • ●Be honest about uncertainty rather than painting false certainty.

How to defend against it

  • ►If this is happening in a relationship where you are afraid of the other person, treat your safety as the first priority: talk to a domestic-violence advocate or hotline before confronting, documenting, or leaving — those steps can escalate risk when done without a plan.
  • ►Judge people by their track record of kept promises, not the appeal of new ones.
  • ►Ask for concrete plans with timelines, not just inspiring visions.
  • ►If the same promise has been made and broken repeatedly, treat the pattern as the truth.

From the Defense Playbook

Premortemminutes

Before committing, imagine the decision has already failed a year from now and write the story of how it failed, which surfaces risks that ordinary "what could go wrong?" discussion suppresses.

Write It Down (Externalize the Decision)minutes

Move the claims, numbers, promises, and your own reasoning out of your head and onto paper or a file, where they cannot be re-described, forgotten, or overloaded.

Every playbook entry states how strong its evidence is and when not to use it. Browse the full playbook.

References

  1. Rusbult, C. E., & Martz, J. M. (1995). Remaining in an abusive relationship: An investment model analysis of nonvoluntary dependence. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 21(6), 558–571
    Investment-model evidence that commitment to an abusive relationship tracks investment size and perceived alternatives — why securing present investment with a promised future keeps the target in place.
  2. Whitty, M. T. (2013). The scammers persuasive techniques model: Development of a stage model to explain the online dating romance scam. British Journal of Criminology, 53(4), 665–684
    Documents how romance scammers build a vivid shared future (marriage, visits, a life together) to extract escalating investment — the same mechanism applied by professional fraudsters.
Last reviewed
Suggest a correction

Detect Future Faking in any text

Paste any message, email, or article into our free Manipulation Detector to see if Future Faking or other techniques are being used on you.

Try the Detector FreeCreate Free Account