Interpersonal

Future Faking

What it is

Making elaborate promises about the future with no intention or ability to follow through.

How it works

The manipulator paints a vivid, appealing picture of a shared future — vacations, commitments, life changes — to secure the target's investment in the present. The target stays and tolerates poor treatment because they are holding out for the promised future that never materializes.

Real-world examples

  • •A romantic partner who talks about marriage and children to keep someone in a relationship with no actual plans.
  • •A startup founder who promises employees equity and promotion timelines that never come to pass.
  • •A friend who perpetually promises to change problematic behavior "starting next month."

Ethical guidelines

  • ●Do not make promises you do not intend to keep, even to manage someone's emotions in the moment.
  • ●Commitments should come with timelines and concrete steps, not vague aspirations.
  • ●Be honest about uncertainty rather than painting false certainty.

How to defend against it

  • ►Judge people by their track record of kept promises, not the appeal of new ones.
  • ►Ask for concrete plans with timelines, not just inspiring visions.
  • ►If the same promise has been made and broken repeatedly, treat the pattern as the truth.

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