Interpersonal

Stonewalling

What it is

Refusing to engage in communication or negotiation, shutting down dialogue entirely.

How it works

By completely withdrawing from discussion — refusing to answer questions, giving monosyllabic responses, or physically leaving — the stonewaller prevents resolution and forces the other party into helplessness. The target often concedes simply to get any engagement at all.

Real-world examples

  • •A partner who walks out of every difficult conversation and refuses to revisit the topic.
  • •A manager who ignores repeated emails requesting a meeting about a raise.
  • •A negotiating party that goes completely silent to pressure the other side into making concessions.

Ethical guidelines

  • ●Needing a brief pause is healthy; sustained refusal to engage is manipulative.
  • ●If you need time, communicate a specific timeframe for resuming the discussion.
  • ●Address discomfort with conflict directly rather than shutting down.

How to defend against it

  • ►Name the pattern calmly: "I notice you are withdrawing. I need us to discuss this."
  • ►Set a clear boundary: you will not accept indefinite silence on important matters.
  • ►Seek mediation from a neutral third party if stonewalling persists.

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