Emotional

Flattery/Ingratiation

What it is

Using excessive praise or compliments to lower someone's defenses and gain favor.

How it works

People like those who make them feel good about themselves and tend to comply more with people they like. Strategic flattery creates a positive emotional state that reduces critical scrutiny and builds a sense of rapport and obligation.

Real-world examples

  • •A salesperson saying "You clearly have excellent taste" before showing the premium option.
  • •A colleague lavishing praise on a manager before requesting a large favor.
  • •Social media influencers telling their audience "You're the best community" before promoting a product.

Ethical guidelines

  • ●Compliments should be genuine and specific, not strategic tools.
  • ●Do not use flattery as a prelude to exploitation.
  • ●Distinguish between authentic appreciation and manipulative praise.

How to defend against it

  • ►Be pleased by compliments but do not let them cloud your judgment on subsequent requests.
  • ►Notice when flattery immediately precedes an ask.
  • ►Evaluate requests independently of how the requester makes you feel.

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